28 January 2007

Suicide Note Beta

"Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live." Charles Caleb Colton

Please take good care of yourself. I will not look after you anymore. I am always a burden to everyone, and I strongly believe that my departure is good for everyone concerned.

You really do not treat me right. You can always make up a lot of excuses to treat me bad. To you, treating me wrong is right, and treating me right is wrong. I never understand this logic. What have I done to deserve this unreasonable and unfair treatment?

I always give the best, don't I? But does that mean anything? I don't think so. Otherwise, you won't keep abusing me. You are always more than willing to upset me.

I always have to give way. Even I am right, but if you deem wrong, then I am not right, and I have to apologize. Sometimes apology means nothing. I have to do much more to have your forgiveness. You like to punish me in order to forgive me.

When you let go, you mean it. You just never look back. You never come back for me if I let go, but I am the only one who never let go.

To you, I am always nothing. You never appreciate what I have done, but only pinpoint at what I haven't yet done. For others, what they have done means everything.

Every person is better than me. If the one you like does the same as what I do, you see it as out of love. If I do the same thing, I'm either forcing you or simply wrong. Everything I do is wrong.

When you do me wrong, you never feel sorry and do anything to comfort me. Instead, you just shy away from me and disappear because you're afraid of my temper. Even when I have a better control on myself, you can always find your unreasonable reasons to ignore me intentionally.

I am really too tired to help you treat me right. If you really love me, you'll know how to love me. If you really love me, you won't even want to hurt me again, and again, and never ending.

Do I hate you? I do not know. I just do not want to see you again in my life. I'll forget you. Sooner or later, you are just nobody to me. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifferent.


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