Doublespeak Beta

"Commercials are not the only junk food in the speech market - indeed, when compared to shallow news reporting, vacuous television shows, or political doublespeak, commercials are not even the most harmful to mental health." Rodney A. Smolla

Doublespeak is language deliberately constructed to disguise or distort its actual meaning, often resulting in a "communication bypass."

Can Richard Eng help his students understand below?

It is fruitless to indoctrinate a super-annuated canine with innovative maneuvers.
Meaning: You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Surveillance should precede saltitation.
Meaning: Look before you leap.

The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses, thereby, the optimal cachinnation.
Meaning: He who laughs last, laughs the loudest.

Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
Meaning: Beggars can't be choosers.

Exclusive dedication to necessary chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John a heptudinous fellow.
Meaning: All work and no play makes John a dull boy.

Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
Meaning: Beauty is only skin deep.

Do not traverse a structure erected to afford passage over a waterway until the time of drawing nigh unto it.
Meaning: Don't cross that bridge until you get to it.

A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiates the potable concoction produced by steeping comestibles.
Meaning: Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the stew.

Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.
Meaning: Dead men can't speak.

All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
Meaning: All that glitters is not gold.

Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
Meaning: Birds of a feather flock together.

Eschew the implement of corrections and vitiate the scion.
Meaning: Spare the rod and spoil the child.